New Tips And Triks For You

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Is it really important to forgive and forget?

Firstly, everyone can make a mistake, even you, so if the shoe was on the other foot, you would like to be given some leniency, or at least have someone listen to what you have to say, wouldn't you?

When you hold a grudge, the only person it really affects is you. You don't want to carry around a big knot of hurt and hate in your heart, not now and not ever. So, forgiveness is necessary on all levels.

1. To free yourself from feelings that can disable you from moving forward or stop you from loving again.

2. To give the other person a chance to redeem themselves to be able to start building trust again.

To forget is not so easy, because even if you do manage to open your heart and forgive for all of the above reasons, you may not forget easily or quickly. It's a matter of trust and time, and if over time trust can be reinstated, then eventually you will be able to forget.

Life and the relationship we have are precious, think carefully before you throw a union away, without first looking at all angles and outcomes.

Does it matter who says sorry first?

Only one person has to change their attitude about something for the whole dynamic between you and another to change. Some people get annoyed and obstinate about being the first to say 'sorry' but does it really matter. At the end of the day, anything that brings you and another back together can't be bad. Don't get so hung up about who should say what. The truth is, some people are better at making the first move. Life is full of compromises, and it's what happens after the first move that really counts.

The scars of an emotional affair

If you find yourself spending more time withholding your communications from your partner, and sharing your feelings and dreams with someone else you have found yourself in an emotional affair.

When your emotional affair comes out, your partner can feel betrayed and deceived by you, the person they loved and trusted the most. Emotional affairs can be even more detrimental than sexual affairs. It is healthy to have friendships outside of your relationship, but if your friendship upsets or threatens your current partner you should reconsider the foundation of your friendship.

Ask yourself what you are missing in your current relationship that made you look elsewhere. If you made a commitment to your partner, you owe it to them and to you to open up to them before you decide to move on to anyone else, emotionally or physically.

How bad do you want a commitment?

If you love your partner, be patient...

Let your partner know what you want but tell him or her you are prepared to wait for as long as you are prepared to wait Don't make it an open ended situation, it's best to think about a realistic time limit and set a review meeting close to the time you agree on so you are not constantly bringing the topic up.

If you're in love and don't want to wait till eternity, then you can consider giving an ultimatum. But you have to be prepared to go with the result, which can be tricky as maybe it will work out, and maybe it won't. If it does work, congratulations, all he/she needed was a little push. If it doesn't, you either have to back down or walk away.

Are you being deceived?

If you think you are, consider two things;

1. Are you being paranoid because of past baggage you may have brought to your present relationship, and if so, then be careful of accusing someone of something they haven't done. This is a sure way of damaging or maybe even sabotaging what could be a good relationship and chance of happiness between you and someone special.

2. Trust your intuition; chances are if you think something isn't right in your relationship, there's a good chance it isn't. You can ask your partner straight out if they are deceiving you, but you may not get an honest answer in fear of the consequences. Be careful of allowing someone to mess with your mind; if you think you are right then keep a close eye on what else happens so you can gather more information until your mind and heart can rest easy.

Staying together isn't right but breaking up is too hard

There is no easy way to break up. It's emotional, it's hurtful and there's heartbreak. But, you need to do the right thing not only by yourself but also by the other person. If you know in your heart that things are not right between you and your partner and you have no desire to working on fixing them, it's best to move on.

How do you do this?

1. Don't do anything rash, first think through your options and make a plan.

2. Be honest about what you want in life

3. Don't make it personal, keep it with what you want to do, not what he or she doesn't do.

4. Consult friends and get a support system in place

5. Take responsibility for where you are and where you are going.

I don't know what to do, who should I talk to?

Never feel stuck when you are faced with a dilemma. There are various people who can help you face life's challenges, here are a few suggestions:

1. Reach out to someone you trust, this is a good place to start. A good friend, a family member who can be objective as to the advice you need.

2. Sometimes, it can be easier to even share your thoughts with someone who you don't know that well, someone who has been through the same things you are going through and someone you know is not going to pass judgment.

3. Community support groups that are set up for people to go and share their life's challenges, somewhere you can mix with like minded people.

Seek out professional help in your area, get a recommendation if possible.

4. Your local doctor has an open door to talk to anyone about anything. If he or she is not the right person to see, they can often point you in the right direction.

5. If you are in a situation you don't know what to do about, don't feel stuck, consider your options and make a move. Life can change when you take one step at a time and take action.

How do you know if your partner is unfaithful?

If you know someone well enough, you will pick up subtle signs that he or she is acting differently, and although you don't want to be paranoid, you do want to pay attention to what your partner is up to..

Pay attention to your intuition, if you think something is not quite right, there is a good chance that it isn't. Don't pass off something your intuition is trying to tell you as unimportant, pay attention.

Be prepared to see the truth. To see what is really happening, can be harder than to ignore it. Sometimes if you do ignore a situation, it may just go away, but then again it may not. You deserve to have an honest relationship or at least be aware of what is happening between you and your partner.

If you know what the situation is you can make an informed decision of what to do next, and it might be that someone's infidelity has highlighted a rather large crack in your relationship that you are prepared to work on fixing, and in this sense, it can actually strengthen the relationship to be stronger than before.

Above all else, keep an open mind and don't be too quick to pre-judge. Be prepared to look at what part you may have also played in the whole scenario!

When is a problem really a problem?

Not everything in life is worth going into battle for. In fact, there are very few things in life, which are worth getting really angry about, but you do not want to be a doormat either, you do want to keep your sense of self intact, so how do you know when to go with the follow and when to go to battle?

The answers to these questions are different for everyone, and only you can answer them for yourself, but there are a few things you can do to help get clear on how you feel.

1. Start a journal. Write your feelings down every time you feel like going into battle. Maybe it is in fact highlighting something that needs to be dealt with and not the actual situation.

2. When you think of the things, people and situations that push your buttons, isolate what you can compromise on, and what is unacceptable behavior. When you think this through you will find where your breaking points are.

3. Talk to your friend or partner or whoever it is that causes you stress and tell them how you feel.

In the end, the more you know about yourself the more you can gain control of your emotions. This is an area of self-work that can benefit you in all areas of your life and result in enriching the lives of yourself and the people you share life with. Take the time to get to know YOU better.