New Tips And Triks For You

Wall Street guys never used to have to work this hard to get the girl.

Wall Street guys are thought of as self-absorbed jerks who don't care about anyone else. That is the universal perception ever since the 2008 financial crisis. Basically before 2008, it was cool to say your boyfriend was a Wall Street guy - kind of like being a doctor or lawyer. Now, everyone thinks of Wall Street guys as the ones who ruined the economy, so we're now one step above used car salesman!

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For the record, they typical Wall Street guy is not Jordan Belfort, the "Wolf of Wall Street." The typical Wall Street guy is married with two kids. He coaches his son's Little League team on the weekend and likes to go out once or twice a week with his friends to blow off steam.

If you are single, you have to go the extra mile like getting on the board of a charity, be extra patient to your grandmother when she calls and claim "When Harry Met Sally" was the greatest movie of all time. You do all this to prove you aren't the typical Wall Street guy. Other single guys start with a clean slate - not us.

But Wall Street guys don't get beat by the system - even if it is unfair. We pride ourselves on figuring out the system, adapting - and placing our bets. We know how to win.

( Read more: Wall Street guys will bet on anything-from the Super Bowl to Olympic curling)

So here are a few tips to all you Wall Street "jerks" win over the ladies in this post-financial crisis, post-"Wolf of Wall Street" world - and just in time for Valentine's Day!

Remember: This isn't about you. Ask about her incessantly and don't talk about yourself and your Wall Street exploits (she couldn't care less). Pay her one genuine compliment about her eyes, nails, clothes, shoes, hands, elbows, jawline - whatever - and it will land well!

hen she asks about you, never explain what your actual role is. Keep it simple: Bond trader. Investment banker. Nobody cares if you are a Latin American retail equity portfolio manager. Just say Latin American trader and know five important words in Spanish like beautiful, dinner, wine, penthouse and Cabo San Lucas.

If you work on a trading desk, never say you are an analyst. Don't advertise you are the lowest man on the totem pole. Unless you want her next sentence to be, "Great. Can you go to Starbucks and grab me an venti iced half-caf vanilla frappuccino with two Splendas?"

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When she asks where you work, always say Goldman Sachs. It just sounds better. It's like saying you went to Harvard, you watch is a Rolex or your cocaine is Colombian. If she calls your bluff, say you used to work there but left because of the cut-throat culture. You love the people and the culture better at your new firm, Intellectual Capital. She'll say, "Ooh, that sounds smart!"

Get on the board of a charity - preferably one that involves dogs. It will show that you have a heart or trying to pretend to have one. Like Gordon Gekko said, "That's the thing about WASPs. They love animals. They hate people." Also, make sure the charity has one good party/fundraiser per year. That way you can invite her to this cool event, with a three-hour open bar and, if you play it right, a nightcap at your place.

On your second date, take her somewhere out of your comfort zone. This will show you are vulnerable. Take her to a place where you are the only Wall Street person there - like a karaoke bar. There is nothing that shows character more than going in front of a group of strangers and singing her a ballad. I suggest, "I Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis or for a duet, try"Just Give Me a Reason" by Pink. (You saw "Top Gun," right? That stuff works. "You never close your eyes...")

Always overtip. There is nothing in the world people hate more than rich people - except cheap rich people! Tip 30 percent. If the meal is $150, who cares about the extra $15? You don't think the bartender is talking cr*p about you when you are in the bathroom? You want him on your side. If you have the waiter, bathroom attendant and parking valet on your side - you are golden.

Be yourself. Unless you are a total douchebag. Then watch "The Notebook" and try and be more like Ryan Gosling.